I Wish I Was an Iditarod Sled Dog

Note here where Iditarod sled dogs stack up on the VO2Max chart. 

If only...

Hat Afternoon To You

It's after six p.m. where I am. Shall we all take out our hats?

Deep Fried

Not even apples manage to escape the deep fryer at the Calgary Stampede.

Chicago

The greatest thing about Chicago seems to be that it always looks like it's about to rain. It ushers a great sense of impending doom into your everyday that I can imagine is somewhat helpful to depressives -- you can clear your mind of gray thoughts, because they are imprinted on the sky. Here is my Chicago list:

-Take picture in front of imported beach-side palm tree, feel coastal sense of superiority
-Hang out in bathroom on top floor of the Hancock Tower, for floor to ceiling windows and panoramic view of the city, smile beatifically at tourist grandmothers who take too long in the stalls
-Purchase "Brewers Suck Sausage" t-shirt from vendor outside Wrigley Field (optional: snap picture in it, send to ex)
-Try to get past police barrier on Greenwood Ave. to view Obama's house, fail miserably, feel 2x more patriotic
-Buy Alexander Wang-designed khaki coat from Gap with thought that it'll be harder to get in right size in NYC, try not to feel dirty about consumer mindset
-Spend 10 minutes in front of Cy Twombly Peony series at the Art Institute, write down the following from his scribble-script: AH! The peonies for which Kusunoki took off his armour
-Spastically check everything on Google Maps